Monday, June 2, 2008

How to Ask a Girl Out

When you would like to ask a girl out, just find the right time and place to ask. Sometimes you will just be hanging out, talking, when you feel you would like to make a date with her. If you do not really know her, but have seen her in school, or with other friends you know, then it might take a little more effort, but it certainly can be done. Give her a compliment. Talk with her about your similarities and differences. Once you feel comfortable about it, do it. Or go up to her and say "You know... I really, really like you and I was wondering if you would maybe go out with me?" It will probably work.


Steps

  1. Make sure that the girl is someone you honestly feel for, not just a crush and make sure she's SINGLE. Breaking a girl's heart means they might encourage other girls not to go out with you.
  2. Find out about the activities and hobbies she likes, but always be mindful. The more you know about her interests, the more things you will have to talk about.
  3. Approach the girl you like. Try to dress fairly decently, but don't overdo it. For example, if you're a T-shirt and jeans person, wear that. Do not show up wearing a suit and tie, because you want her to like you for you, and you don't want to give her any false ideas. Look somewhat decent, showing that you are trying. Don't show up wearing over-powering cologne. two squirts is enough. Just enough for herto notice you when talking to you but not for somebody across the room to notice.
  4. Greet her in whatever fashion you normally would, but remember, being overly cordial or more relaxed than she knows you to be, can reveal to her that you are trying too hard and therefore are not confident with being yourself, which will mirror that same anxiety within her, ruining your chances. In other words, be yourself. The greeting is what sets the precedent for who you are. If the greeting creates an odd situation where there is a bit of personality clash, it can ruin your entire chance. Traditionally, following the greeting is the conversation. Reiterating from before, its important to be yourself, so talk about subjects that you are interested in, and give responses to how you genuinely feel. Honesty is much, much more than just telling the truth, it's about showing people you live a life other than theirs and have sovereign ideas, thoughts and feelings.
  5. Gauge her interest. Make eye contact, smiling, laughter, and enthusiasm in her responses. Learn to read women's body language.
  6. Ease into your invitation. After you have been talking for awhile, and it is obvious that both of you "click", invite her to be involved with you in an activity. Almost any activity is perfectly suitable. Mundane activities like grocery shopping or more exhilarating ones like snowboarding are great ways for her to get to know you, although inviting her for having coffee at a Cafe, or even a drink at a bar are not only great ideas, but traditional as well. After you and she have had the opportunity to "feel" each other out, find a time in the conversation where it would be appropriate to ask her out. The way you would ask her is quite simple in fact. An example would be: "Hey I'm going/doing ACTIVITY this weekend. How would you like to tag along? I promise it'll be more interesting than whatever you had planned." Say this with a small smile, teasingly. Do NOT use cheesy pickup lines, as they are not you.
  7. The example doesn't have to be followed verbatim, you can ask it in whatever way you feel is comfortable, but the important part is that you make a time to see her, and ask if she wants to come with you.
  8. Spend time with her and a group of other people (not a one-on-one date). This will make her feel more comfortable as it's not as intense as being out as a couple.
  9. Make sure that you're asking out this girl not just for her looks, but for her personality. If you just ask her out because she is "hot" , then things wont work out for a long period of time. If she is a good friend of yours, don't make her feel uncomfortable, but ask her out & tell her that you really like her.
  10. Ask her when you two are ALONE. Having others around you will stir pressure on her to say yes or no. Also, make sure the girl you are asking out is genuine and will really like you - not just because she has a good figure or is popular.



Tips

  • Have fun - don't try to be serious all the time! Most of them like to have some fun every now and then.
  • Make eye contact.
  • Be extremely nice and treat her with respect. This is a must. If you can't treat a girl right, don't even bother trying.
  • Become her friend. This is half the battle, and at the very worst at least you have one more friend than you had before.
  • Make sure her past relationship is completely over and done with.
  • Be calm and confident. If you're sweating and stuttering, that girl will feel nervous about going out with you. Girls want guys that are confident, but not cocky.
  • Some girls prefer to be called "sexy" or "hot." Others prefer to be called "lovely" or "beautiful."
  • Make sure you don't use the wrong word. There are other good ones too like "stunning," "irresistible," "really something," "gorgeous," "a hottie," "radiant", etc. Try not to get stuck on just one.
  • Some girls don't care what a guy who she doesn't know thinks of her looks.
  • Practice talking to her. If you feel uncomfortable talking to her, you probably aren't ready to ask her out.
  • Think of subjects to discuss on the date; stories about yourself (not gross ones!), things you want to know about her, etc. in advance
  • Being relaxed and confident is the difference between a comfortable silence and an unbearable
  • silence. It's natural to have breaks in the conversation. Don't sweat it.
  • Don't ask your friends to do it. You will have a better chance coming from you.
  • If you get nervous when you go to ask her out, don't worry about it. Some girls actually think this is cute.
  • Smell nice when you go to ask her out! Smell is a big turn off! At least put on some deodorant, and don't overdo the cologne (some find it offending). Also, Be careful about wearing strong aftershave. Some girls like the smell, while others don't. Just make sure you know if she likes/dislikes it.
  • Girls hate it when you have a friend ask them out. Otherwise, they get all confused and will not talk to you if she doesn't know the real deal.
  • If you are not sure if it's the right thing to do don't do it. You want a girl you know is interested in you so don't rush.
  • Joking around with her, even if it's in your nature, isn't always the best thing to do when asking her out. Show her that you can go outside of your element for her. Besides, if you're already laughing and you bring it up stupidly (ex. saying "Oh yeah, we should go out.") then she may not take it seriously.
  • Don't be afraid of rejection! Most girls have big hearts and will let you down very easily, if at all. Some girls agree to one date just because you asked and they're being nice. Don't take it the wrong way, it simply means she likes you enough to not hurt your feelings but not enough that she's ready for a relationship.
  • Try Double Dating when you first go out. If you can't drive it's a great idea, because would you rather your mom take you? I didn't think so. It also relieves pressure for the girl and can keep you out of sticky situations. If you're nervous, having a cool older friend that you're comfortable with and their date can help you feel relax and have a better time.
  • Remember the three P's of dating. For it to be a date it has to be Planned Ahead, Paid for, and Paired Off. Have a plan, don't go out there winging it because you'll do something stupid. If you're a guy, be a man and respect the girl enough to pay for her. Paired off, you don't have to be completely exclusive but it allows the date to be loyal to you in all the activities which leads to deeper bonds and deeper trust.
  • If the girl says "No," don't get really annoyed and show it. If you don't get annoyed and still get to know her better and then you ask again in about a couple of weeks she might say yes (if this doesn't work just give up)
  • Let her know that you really like her or else she might think you just want to have a short relationship.
  • Have fun. No girl wants to be with a guy who is boring.
  • Be confident.it's a little weird when someone starts to stutter and say um alot
  • When you do approach the girl, try not to start the conversation by a "Hey, can I talk to you?" or a "Can I ask you something?". Don't ask her out randomly, but these lines are giant hints that you are about to ask her out. Can be awkward.
  • Another thing by the same guy who said not to e-mail ask, ask her out, most people are scared, do you know why, because of the big NO, don't worry, if you really really love her it should work for you.
  • Don't wait! There is never a perfect time.
  • If you went out with a girl and she broke up with you then DO NOT ask one of her close friends to go out with you less than a month later. She will say no because she's not sure if your friend will be cool with you two going out.
  • Ask her out a few months later (e.g. If you asked a girl out in November, then you should probably ask her out in late January)
  • If you are looking at her and she starts to turn towards you dont turn and look in the opposite direction. It can make her think you are not confident and you will never get her.

Warnings

If you give her a note, leave it in her locker, because it gives her time to think about it before she gets around to answering it. Remember, dates are about seeing if you think you would have a chance with someone!

  • Try to be mature around her! No girl likes a guy who tells cheesy jokes or plays with food!
  • Absolutely don't ask in front of anyone else, because it might embarrass her.
  • Keep your hands to yourself! Trying to get physical with a girl right away just tells her that youconsider her to be an object and not an actual person.
  • Be persistent, but not too persistent. If she turns you down gently, then she's politely telling you she's not interested. If she flat out refuses, back away. You don't want any girl to think you're a stalker.
  • If you have to ask her out through a friend, you will get a "no" by default. Girls do not enjoy hearing, "Hey! I'm asking you out for (Name of guy). He doesn't like you enough to overcome his lack of confidence." They will hear this regardless of how tactful your friend is, unless her friend is a very close friend to both you and herself.
  • Do not ask right away; you will always get a "no" just because she can always say she doesn't know you well enough. This one is big, get to know them well, then when you're both ready, ask her out cool and calm, and never try to kiss her on a first date unless you're positive that you both want to.
  • Do not try to buy her the world on the first date (e.g. teddies, etc.) because she might not want to develop the relationship.
  • Don't keep prying at a rejection. It's okay to ask how come if she says no, but don't be invasive.
  • Make sure you dont have bad breath! If you do they will assume that you do most of the time! Be careful, be clean!
  • Another great tip, do not under any circumstanses ask her out via e-mail. This will put her off greatly and she will not go out with you because she thinks that you are too scared to ask her out.
  • Find out about the activities and hobbies she likes but try not to get to know her to much because when the time comes she might think of you as just a friend.
  • Don't talk about your class.

1 comment:

Jessebel said...

Is this proven?? Hehehehe..How about courting to a guy??